So much about me has changed since I became a mother. I am now responsible for keeping another human being alive.
I am now responsible for keeping another human being alive.
Let’s unpack that statement a bit: Another person is depending on my dubious abilities to feed, (mostly) clothe, and occasionally bathe him. That little person wakes me up in the middle of the night, expecting a response other than me shutting him in the laundry room (as I’m wont to do with our sometimes noisy dogs). I get up with this child, change his appalling diapers, allow my (much abused) breasts to perform essentially the same function as a Holstein, then gently rock him back to sleep and creep quietly from his room like a breastmilk-soaked ninja.
In response to all of this new pressure, so many things are different. My wardrobe has changed (all things stretchy), my go-to hairstyle has changed (hello, ponytail every. single. day.), my dedication to wearing makeup and brushing my teeth on a consistent basis has changed (understatement of the year).
However, one change overshadows all the rest: my Google search history. Continue reading “Motherhood: Google It”